I have a journal that every few pages has a prompt that you can write about if you want. I usually take the opportunities to explore the questions because they’re usually things I don’t write about on my own.
Last time I sat at the Gulf of Mexico I’m not sure I truly believed in this one. I was reading a book about whole healing (Mind Over Medicine), but I can’t say I believed what I was reading. I thought it was nice and I WISHED I believed it, but between the methotrexate hangovers, swollen joints, aching body, flu-like symptoms and excruciating pain, it was very hard for me to believe that I could be the source of healing. BUT I now know, it’s not only possible for me, but it’s possible for every person on this earth.
It’s crazy that the last time I was in Florida, at the gulf, was when I decided to start my blog, that I sang at the American Idol Experience and I realized that just because my life was different didn’t mean it was bad! I also said it was the last time I’d be at the beach with crutches… But eh, Ya know. Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it! Haha
In July 2012, one of my really good friends got married. It was right after my first surgery in 2012 and I wasn’t able to dance at her wedding. I chair danced it up all night and swore that the next wedding I went to I would be dancing…. Well that didn’t happen, and I didn’t dance at the next one, or the next one, or the next one … Or this last one.
So as I sat on the beach 2 years later, with my crutches beside me, brace all sandy, recovering from a wedding the night before that I chair danced at …
What had changed?
Why did I now, without any hesitation, write down I believed in whole healing without a shadow of a doubt?
Long story short… A helluva lot!
For starters, I truly believe that timing is everything.
In order for us to achieve whole healing, we need to approach it with our mind, body and spirit. This is a hard concept for many people to understand, therefore can take more time for you to establish this connection. Everyone is different and there is no set timeline that is established for this to happen. It’s a journey that we must all go on, but once we ‘arrive’ you most definitely are aware of it.
As a culture we’re always looking for the quick fix, the magic pill or solution and we definitely have a ‘now, now, now’ mentality. That is not conducive for healing. Healing happens in time and cannot be rushed. The last time I was at the beach I remember spending lots of time in tears – not only from pain, but from praying for an answer. I would get so frustrated that I wasn’t receiving any answers, but it was more because I wasn’t receiving the answers I wanted to hear. Everyone would tell me I had to wait or that there wasn’t an answer to my solution or that the solution was medication, time and surgeries in the future. All I wanted to do was get back to my life…. ASAP!
But guess what… It wasn’t my time for whole healing. There was still so much that needed to happen! I needed time to allow my body to settle. I needed time to allow for my mind to relax. I needed time for my soul to be realized.
Secondly, I wasn’t taking care of all aspects of myself. Sure, I always tried to maintain my appearance and thought I was ‘taking care’ of myself, but I was falling short in a lot of areas. Was I feeding myself the right food? Was I giving myself the fuel I needed to achieve healing? I didn’t even realize that food comes in so many different forms – secondary food from things I put in my mouth and primary food from relationships, career, spirituality, ect! There were a loooottttttttt of imbalances in my life and I had a lot of cleaning up to do!
But most of all, there were lessons I needed to learn before I could have whole healing. Honestly, I could probably talk for the rest of my life about the lessons I’ve learned and the wisdom I’ve gained from the last 3 years, but I truly believe that my biggest lessons were in patience and trusting my journey.
Growing up in an Italian tempered family, patience wasn’t always my strongest suit. I was very hot-headed, easy to raise my voice and could be set off by very little. Now, I’m still opinionated and will make sure my voice is heard, but things do not bother me as much. I’m not as easily frustrated and I can more calmly approach situations.
I always was making plans… I had a different life plan every week! Last week I was going to open a jewelry store, this week I’m moving to Teaxs – I had huge dreams, amazing plans and was always living in the future. I was running through life and getting the highlights – not taking time to stop and smell the roses and appreciate the present. My journey has taught me that life is about the here and now. Everything I have to be truly happy, I have in this moment. This is something that therapists and others would tell me in the past, but I never truly understood the meaning of this until now. When I studied abroad in Italy, our school’s founder had a saying that he said repeatedly “Trust the process!”. He would always remind us to trust the process, trust our lives, trust in what will be. And in my healing journey I’ve come to realize and deepen my amazing faith.
Each of us has our own journey to take. No two journeys will be exactly alike! And that’s amazing!
Each of our lives are just like the ocean… Sometimes we’ll be riding a small wave in and other times we’ll be surfing in on a huge wave. But, each time, the water will recede back into the ocean right before the tide comes in again. Learning to surf our waves of life is part of figuring out how we can achieve whole healing. Change is the only constant in life and how we learn to deal with change is vital for our mind, body and spirit.
I wish I could tell you what to expect on your healing journey and I wish I could tell you exactly what you needed to do to be healed. But I can’t. No one can… Except YOU! Within you, you have the magic formula to unlock your healing potential. How can you access it? You need to spend time with yourself… Truly exploring the inner workings of you. Focusing on your body. Becoming aware of what your body needs, what your mind needs and what your soul needs. Not just focusing on objects and material things in life, but realizing that in order to be happy everything must be in a harmonious balance.
It’s not easy. I won’t lie and tell you it’s a smooth journey. But what I can tell you is it’s SO worth it. Investing in yourself is the best allocation of your time, money and resources. Take care of yourself – inside and out!
Within you, you have the power to completely heal yourself and your life.
And that’s something I believe without a doubt.
Wishing You A Pain Free Day!