Laying in bed last night, I said my prayers and took stock in how my body was feeling. It’s something that I do every night. I always assess what I did that day, what I consumed and how I was feeling. As I was going through my routine, my mind had a thought. It wasn’t a totally brand new thought or concept that I had come up with, but for some reason I really started thinking about it in-depth.
For the rest of my life, I’ll never have a day off from focusing on my health.
I started thinking about the times in high school or college where my health didn’t cross my mind. I didn’t think of the consequences that a slice of pizza would have on the rest of my week or how going out at night would probably prevent me from making it to prior commitments the following day.
Last week I had been to a local health foods store. Upon walking past their bakery, I started craving a gluten-free vegan brownie something bad. Their baked goods are delicious and, with the exception of sugar, really could fit into my diet. Well, it could fit in prior to me cutting out all grains. They use brown rice flour to make their yummy baked goods – something I’ve come to realize zaps my energy and usually renders me in bed the following day. Anyways – I picked up an individually wrapped brownie and thought, ah heck, I’m having an emotional day, I’m craving chocolate because I’m totally PMS-ing, I could “cheat” and have it. But then I quickly remembered I was leaving for vacation the next day. There was no way that I could afford to have an off day when I’d be traveling the next day. I put the brownie down and walked away sad and defeated. Son of a bitch. That brownie looked so good and fudgey and I bet it was delicious.
This event crossed my mind while laying in bed and I thought about how I’ll never have another day where I won’t be concerned about the food I’m putting in my body. I’ll never have another day where I’ll be able to just indulge without feeling guilty or have some price to pay. I’ll never have a day where I can just let my cares fall to the way side and eat something crazy for fear of what might be in it.
I used to be the most adventurous eater – I’d try anything! I really will eat just about anything and everything. I’m so not picky. But now I have to be so so so picky. Dating is always an interesting adventure because most guys (and even friends really!) believe it’s just a diet thing or if I cheat I’ll just have “gas”. I wish that was it! I really do.
I wrote a post awhile back about how my full-time job is getting better and honestly, thinking about my future, no matter where my career takes me, my most important, and truly 24/7/365, job will focusing on my health. And once I’m a momma, it will also include showing my kids the importance of using food as fuel and how it’s so important to focus on your health.
So many that live the #chronicLife will always have to focus on their health. Even if we reach remission (which sometimes seems like the pot of gold at the end of an imaginary rainbow) we still will have to focus on taking care of ourselves and making sure we’re doing everything we can to remain healthy.
You always hear be grateful, but it is so easy for us as humans to sink into everyday life and not always count our blessings. About a month ago, when I starting having NO PAIN DAYS, I couldn’t stop thanking my lucky stars enough. I felt so blessed and lucky and SO FREAKING excited. After about a week, I was still grateful, but I didn’t think about it as much and started sinking into my pain-free life. Then, a few days later, I started having pain again.
I had just started getting used to living a pain free life and, within a matter of a few weeks, started taking it for granted. There isn’t a day that goes by now that I don’t make sure to say thanks for low pain or no pain days.
Chronic illness is a full-time, all-encompassing job. One that requires us to focus on our health, what we’re consuming, what we’re not consuming and what we’re grateful for Every. Single. Day. And it’s almost like the universe knows when we start taking things for granted because it shows up knocking on our door with some wonderful outwardly showing symptom.
Make sure to be grateful and cognizant of your health everyday. It can be as simple as repeating an affirmation upon waking up or right before you go to sleep.
Try something like:
“I am grateful for my health and happiness.”
“Thank you body for allowing me to get through this day with happiness, health and love.”
“My body is love.”
Or something that resonates with you more!
We may never get a day off, but luckily we’re all in the same boat and can lean on each other. So if you’re having a day where you wish you could call in sick and zone out, reach out to the #spoonie and #chronicLife community online. We’re always here to help out 🙂
Wishing You A Pain Free Day!
This post inspired me to make some #chronicLife memes! Check them out, pin them, tweet them, share them!