Last week’s homily in mass was all about embracing yourself and loving the person that God has made you to be.
I don’t usually write about religious things on my blog, just in respect for others who have different beliefs, but I couldn’t help but agree with everything my Priest was saying.
God made each and every one of us. And to that statement, you can define “God” however you like to define it. The universe, Mother Nature, some other powerful force beyond our measure – whatever it is to YOU.
It’s so often that I, and others that I know, will start to repeat the phrase “Why me?” when something bad happens.
Why am I sick?
Why do I have to carry this load?
Why do I seem to continually have to fight an up hill battle?
Why does everybody else seem to get it so much easier than me?
But guess what? No one is perfect. No one has it easy. No one faces a life without challenges.
We’ve been created to face challenges and successes in our lives. It’s a part of LIVING!
Even the healthiest, richest, most beautiful people on this earth still face challenges. Case in point: Jamie-Lynn Sigler has been diagnosed with MS, Selena Gomez battles Lupus, Phil Mickelson golfs with psoriatic arthritis, and these 7 celebs live with Rheumatoid Arthritis.
I walked into choir practice that Sunday and the director was joking around asking everybody what they wanted to complain about. When it came to me, I said I couldn’t complain about anything. Of course, everyone then jumped on me saying Ohhhh come on! You could complain about SOMETHING!!!
But truly, in that moment I didn’t have anything to complain about.
Sure, I didn’t feel well. I was low on energy and was feeling really nauseous. Sure, I had just received a text message from someone I was currently seeing that had invoked some ‘angry’ emotions. Sure, I wish there were things in my life that turned out differently.
But you know what? In the grand scheme of things, all of these “little” things seemed so small.
I’ve started working through Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map and the thing I love most about her book is that she talks about not necessarily creating goals for the sake of going on a trip or obtaining another ‘thing’, but to create goals for how you WANT TO FEEL. That it’s not about what we do, it’s about how we feel.
I’ve always been a goal setter and a plan maker. My plans had plans, which had plans. Some of those plans went off without a hitch, but many of them didn’t come to fruition. Whenever a plan or goal didn’t come to light, I’d be upset, mad, angry, sad, depressed. . . . But I think my biggest “plan” or biggest detour in life has come as my health issues.
Did I plan to become sick?
Did I plan to have to leave work?
Did I plan to have to put my life and career on hold on years while I focused my energy on getting better?
HELL FREAKING NO I DIDN’T!
Am I in a place right now that I thought I’d be 5 years ago? NOPE. Not at all. I didn’t achieve manager status at my job, I didn’t marry the guy I was dating, I didn’t buy a house and settle down. None if the things that were in my 5 year plan, 5 years ago, happened. So how does that make me feel?
Well, to be quite frank, at first it didn’t make me feel so great. I’d cry, I was depressed, I wished things were different. But, over time, I worked through my emotions, I became more in touch with myself, and I started embracing where I was in that moment. Because guess what folks? THIS MOMENT is all we have. Nothing is guaranteed, tomorrow isn’t promised, and we can make all the plans we want, but there’s no certainty that it’s even what we should do.
So by embracing myself, ALL OF MYSELF – flaws, sickness, and imperfectness – I’ve been able to come to a place where I’m happy. I feel happy. I feel calm. I feel at peace. Do I have everything I thought I wanted? NOPE. But guess what, all of the things I AM doing, all of the things I AM expending my energy towards, all of the things I DO have make me feel GOOD. And it may have taken me 30 years, but I’ve come to realize that I’d rather be happy than have “things” that I THINK will make me happy.
Sure, there are things I wish were different. There are things I wish I didn’t have to deal with and things often don’t go my way… BUT, when I focus on how good I feel most of the time, all the of the things that can make me upset or want to complain, just don’t seem as heavy to me.
That’s not to say things still don’t affect me.
Just this week, my already limited diet got cut in half, a door closed on a relationship which I was pretty excited about and there are a lot of unknowns about the future of my career. I could dwell on all of the negatives and expel all my energy worrying, but I’ve come to realize that there’s no point.
I have faith in God, I have faith in myself and I have faith that everything will work out just right.
I love myself where I am right now – flaws, diagnosis and all.
E V E R Y D A Y . . . .
I CHOOSE to accept myself for where I am.
I CHOOSE to embrace myself where I am.
I CHOOSE to be happy with where I am.
What will YOU CHOOSE today?
Wishing You A Pain Free Day!